Love

       My first thoughts this morning were of love. I sat on the potty laughing at my foolish thoughts, after all, who am I to entertain this kind of thinking, let alone at 5:30 AM. Philosophers, poets, theologians, script writers, couples writing vows, music lyricists, and a myriad of others much more knowledgeable than I have tackled this topic throughout all time. I’m sure even cave dwellers had a thought about it as it is so intimately a part of whom we are as a species. I laughed as I remembered a book I had as a young girl – “Snoopy says, Love is…” Even then, I was working on a clear definition that felt right and said it all.



       I remember the first boy that gave me that wondrous sense of butterflies in my stomach. He lived across the street from me, so the object of my childhood infatuation was in close proximity. My 7 year old heart ached with love for this boy. It also broke as he went off on loving adventures that didn’t include me. His mother was a mentor and confidant to me. I remember going to her as I grew up declaring , “I think I’m in love!” She would simply smile her smile and shake her head as she replied, “No, Dear, you aren’t in love.” This went on as I returned to her time and time again with my heartfelt declarations of a new budding amore. Each time her response was the same. My frustration grew and I felt like she didn’t understand, so I stopped listening to her. This was a huge mistake. One I’ve paid for dearly.  It wasn’t until much later that I would come to understand what she had been telling me all along.


       Love, when it is real, requires no declarations to anyone, although you feel like shouting it aloud to anyone who would listen….and even those who couldn’t give a rat’s patootie about your love life. Love simply is. You can not force love, make it happen, expect that it will be returned to you. You can not demand it and you can not measure your feelings based on those of another. If it is not there, it is simply not there.


       “Love is”…Snoopy had it right and so did my neighbor. You know it when you feel it. The verb changes from ‘I think’ to ‘I know.” Our thoughts always seem to have a desire to be voiced and heard, but that which is known takes it’s place on an easy chair in our soul and just rests there.


       Love is a gift freely given to another. It can not be denied. Once its beautiful melody has pealed in your heart and soul – it remains a bell that can not be un-rung, no matter how hard a person might to try to deny it. The resonation of this love so fills your spirit; that the world seems to still so it might catch a little twinkling of its beautiful sound.


       How many of us are truly lucky enough to find a love so pure, so unrelenting, so free…? Unfortunately, not many, I fear. Many settle for a version of ‘I think’ and then live lives of quiet, martyred desperation. A sense that there must be more burns inside them and scorches a mark on their soul and leaves a bad taste in their mouths. They work hard at doing the right thing, holding steadfast to vows taken long before they knew who they were or what they needed, doggedly being relatively happy or happy enough. These people seek moments of joy outside themselves trying to fill the gaping hole inside where love should live. Stubborn, determined not to fail or give up, they do not live, but merely exist.


       Love, when discovered, can patch those empty holes, breathe new life into spirits walking through life as if they were already dead, and show what living fully and completely feels like. How can someone deny such a love, reject it, and opt to remain dead inside? Does fear of what people will think, fear of change, fear of the unknown, a deep rooted cynicism based on feelings of never being good enough really hold that much power to keep them in the dungeon of poor choices? I can not understand that sacrifice of the human spirit and that of life and love that rests in a decision such as this.


       Our time on Earth comes but once. It is often too short a time. Love is the greatest of God’s gifts to us. We must be willing to open ourselves to it, recognize its beauty, and embrace it when it comes to us. Putting fear aside, we must walk in the beauty of God’s choice for us. God has a plan for us filled with love, peace, fulfillment, and other wonderful things. I will not deny Him.